E230: 4 Free (And Easy!) Mindset Shifts for Less PMS

Still dreading that week before your period when the smallest things set you off and you feel like you’re walking around with no buffer? Even though I talk a lot about PMS having a physical root cause, it's not all in your body, some of it really is in your head. 

In this episode, I’m sharing four mindset shifts that have made a real difference for me and so many women I’ve worked with. They’re simple things you can lean on when irritation, sadness, or overwhelm start creeping in.

You’ll learn:

• 05:42 My favorite "bubble" mindset to keep your fuse from being extra short
• 09:53 A surprisingly small habit that can shift your mood in minutes
• 12:54 Why a victim mindset may be causing you more issues than you think - and what you can do about it right away. 

PMS may still show up, but with these shifts, it doesn’t have to take over. So grab your earbuds, let’s take a little walk together, and talk about how to make these days feel lighter.

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Disclaimer: Nothing in this podcast is to be taken as medical advice, please take informed accountability and speak to your provider before making changes to your health routine.

This podcast is for women and moms to learn how to balance hormones naturally in motherhood, to have pain-free periods, increased fertility, to decrease PMS mood swings, and to increase energy without restrictive diet plans. You'll learn how to balance blood sugar, increase progesterone naturally, understand the root cause of estrogen dominance, irregular periods, PCOS, insulin resistance, hormonal acne, post birth-control syndrome, and conceive naturally. We use a pro-metabolic, whole food, root cause approach to functional women's health and focus on truly holistic health and mind-body connection.

If you listen to any of the following shows, we're sure you'll like ours too!
Pursuit of Wellness with Mari Llewellyn, Culture Apothecary with Alex Clark, Found My Fitness with Rhonda Patrick, Just Ingredients Podcast, Wellness Mama, The Dr Josh Axe Show, Are You Menstrual Podcast, The Model Health Show, Grounded Wellness By Primally Pure, Be Well By Kelly Leveque, The Freely Rooted Podcast with Kori Meloy, Simple Farmhouse Life with Lisa Bass

Chapters

• 5:42 My favorite "bubble" mindset to keep your fuse from being extra short
• 9:53 A surprisingly small habit that can shift your mood in minutes
• 12:54 Why a victim mindset may be causing you more issues than you think - and what you can do about it right away

Transcript

[00:00:00] PMS is not all in your head, but these mindset shifts are going to help you get better faster.

 [00:00:00] PMS is definitely not all in your head, I promise you that. And I think that it can be so easy to essentially almost take less responsibility for our emotions and the. Accountability that we really have for those when we are blaming our PMS 100% on hormones and physical things. So today I want to flip the script a little bit and actually talk about.

Some free and easy mindset shifts that can improve your PMS. I'm going to help you understand why PMS is both physical and mental, and I'm going to give you four specific mindset shifts that you can use today, literally today, to. Change your mindset and your mood. And when I say easy, they're easy in theory, right?

We know this, they're easy, but we have to work to implement them, and you're not [00:01:00] going to see change in your mood and in your mindset overnight necessarily. Sometimes, I don't know, sometimes these work for me pretty fast, but. They're easy because they're tangible, because they're something you literally can do right now, and you don't have to go anywhere.

You don't have to pay anything, you can just do them and. Of course, as it always is, the results are in the consistency and the results are in the commitment over time. So I just wanna encourage you with this today and let's get into it. before I go into these mindset shifts, I promise you I will, I do wanna just talk about why PMS is not all in your head, but it is both.

It definitely is both. Physical reasons for PMS. Are going to be there if you're struggling.

So physical reasons will be there if you're having PMS mood swings, if you're noticing that week before your period, two weeks before your period, random times throughout your cycle, ovulation injury period. You are more moody, irritable, angry, [00:02:00] sad, depressed, just not yourself. And this is what I'm talking about with PMS.

Now, I'm also talking about physical symptoms like they do fall under the umbrella of PMS. But with the mindset shifts, clearly we're thinking more mood, emotional symptoms. So when those things are happening without fail, there is an imbalance in your hormone. That is something that we need to look into.

We need to go into all of the things that I talk about on this podcast, and I work with my clients on blood sugar balance. Are you eating enough? Are you getting the nutrients you need? Do you have the ability, the ingredients in your body to make hormones well and detox hormones? That is the foundation of the physical side of things.

And I just wanna challenge you today to think about if you're like, okay, I've been listening, I've been doing, I've been coaching, whatever you've been working on, and you're like, I've been working on some of these things for my PMS, but I have actually started to claim this PMS over myself. I'm like, oh, it's day 27.

I deserve to act like a raging, [00:03:00] crazy lady today. It can be an excuse as well. Now hear me with your heart. I tell my kids that, hear me with your heart, there is something physical going on that makes it way harder to be a rational human those days. I hear you. I feel you. I've been there many times myself, when we take that on as an identity and as an excuse, that can also keep us there.

 So I just want you to check that in your heart right now. Check that in your heart. Are there days where you start to feel a little irritable and you're like, oh, it's day 26. All bets are off. Everybody better tiptoe, right? Because we can believe because my hormones are, I balance because I have issues with X, Y, Z that's causing my hormones not to be made or detoxed.

I'm stuck here with PMS until I can figure out the thing, until I can get the blood sugar balance, get the supplements right, get the whatever right that you're working on, that you're focused on. It can be so [00:04:00] easy to just be like here I am. This is where I am. I'm doing my best because I'm doing some physical things.

And I think that it's just both. And so when we are aware of the physical. We also need to be aware of the mindset and the mood and the owning that mentality. Almost like you're taking radical responsibility in the wrong way, where you're just like, okay, I just believe this is me on this day of the month, versus saying, Hey, yes, I tend to feel less happy this day, and.

I'm still responsible for my actions. I'm still responsible for what I say and how can I make this better, even though there's underlying physical things. And so that's what we are about to get into with these four mindset shifts. Number one, this mindset shift. This is actually a little bit more of a physical.

Protection for yourself, physical and emotional protection for yourself. And then the others are more mindset shift. I do [00:05:00] really like to encourage a bubble mentality around this time. So, you know, For you, hopefully, you know, if you don't start tracking it, you know, for you when this is, you're like, it's day 25 and that's it.

It's day 22 through 27 and it's a hot mess. It's two weeks. As soon as I ovulate, I'm. Struggling you know that window, hopefully it's not two weeks. If it is truly let me help you because we can get you out of that. But you know, Your window. Look at that window and think like, how could I put a little bubble around this?

Hopefully we're talking something reasonable like a day or two. And I want you to think about that. Like it's day 27. I see it coming, it's next week, and. Shoot, I planned everything that day. I have all the sports, all the errands and someone's birthday party, and I invited someone for dinner. Okay, so that's gonna be a problem, to be honest.

You are not going to be your best. Maybe you've done just two of those things, and that's still too much, but look at that. Look at that little window, [00:06:00] see it coming and say, Hey, how can I create a little bit of a bubble around myself? My favorite way is to do this. Or just to see what you can take off your plate just for that day.

Move it to another day that you know you'll be better. Move it to someone else's plate. Ask for help. Some of my favorites, this is, and this needs to be what you know for yourself. And so a challenge that I have for you that this. Is way harder than it should be. A lot of times for those of us who have been moms for a little bit, and we're just used to really giving our all to everyone else and not ourselves often.

I want you to sit down and I want you to write down a list. I would say at least five things that you enjoy that fill your cup. And if you sit down and you're like, I have no idea. Then stay there. Sit there and think about it. Pray about it. Don't text your best friend and be like, what do I like?

Sit there and be like, what did I used to like, what brings me joy? And I also just wanna encourage you not to make it something crazy like, I need to go to Mexico by [00:07:00] myself. Great. I support you in doing that, but that's probably not gonna fix your PMS in the moment on that day. And it's not realistic to do that every month.

Is it taking a walk? Is it getting some sunshine? Is it painting your nails? Is it going to have coffee with a friend? Is it going to bed early? Maybe it's reading a book. I don't know what it is for you, but I want you to start making a list. Those are some things that would do it for me. Make that list so that when you get to this, we're just using three days as an example.

We get to this three days and you say, okay, I'm gonna try to take a couple things off my plate. Because I'm feeling resentful. I'm feeling irritable, I'm feeling angry, and I'm not a nice person today. What can you take off your plate so you can take a little bit of a deep breath and do something that you enjoy?

Maybe it's instead of folding the laundry, you just let someone else do it, or just don't do it. Just leave it for a day. It'll be fine. And you take a walk or you go lay in the sun for 15 minutes and read a [00:08:00] book and just charge your batteries. Maybe it's longer than that. You know what it is for you, but it can be something simple where you just create this little bubble around yourself.

It just gives you a little bit more space from the people around you who you love so much, but they're driving you insane. It's not even them. This is the normal things they do, right? It's you, but. You are responsible for you. And so taking that step back and being like, you know what? If I do all of the chores that I usually do today after I've worked or after whatever, I'm going to be really grumpy.

But I see that there may be a little bit of a light at the end of the tunnel if I was like, I'm gonna take these two things off my plate, and instead I'm gonna do something I like. And it's just for today. It's just for today and tomorrow. See how you feel, because it really can make a difference in the way that your cup is filled.

To do something small like that. So that's the bubble mentality and that is something that I just want you to think about and I want you to try it and tell me how it goes. I would love to hear how it goes. I [00:09:00] usually hear, oh wow, that was, that actually really helped. And maybe it took you from a nine.

Grumpy to a six and six is more manageable, right? So just keep that in mind, that bubble mentality. Number two, this is actually a mindset shift. Gratitude. Do not turn me off. Do not say I've heard this before, because you have. I know you have. I've heard it too. But have you done it and have you done it consistently?

I have been practicing this very imperfectly. And I've heard it before for years, but when I start to spiral in my thoughts, whether that's anxiety, whether that's irritation, whatever it is that I know is not my best me, I have been stopping and leaning into gravity for gravity, gratitude for a minute. And just like anything, so I'll give you an example. If I'm washing the dishes and I'm annoyed or I'm anxious about something okay, I'm going to stop right [00:10:00] now. I'm thankful for dishes. I'm thankful that we have food. I'm thankful that I have fingernails. I'm thankful that my hair is on my head, like anything and everything.

And then you can go to bigger things too, whatever. But if I stop my thoughts from whatever they are, that is not what they need to be. Take those thoughts captive and switch to gratitude and I'll usually pray. I'll usually like, Lord, thank you for this. Thank you for this. I see your provision.

I see your goodness. Thank you for the sunshine. Thank you for the grass in the yard. Thank you that my kids are over there talking to each other and laughing or even thank you that they're fighting because they feel good and healthy to fight. Whatever it is, I really. I cannot stress to you how two or three minutes of just being thankful for everything you can possibly think of can shift your brain and you may need to do it 10 minutes later.

I'm not gonna tell you that fixes you for the rest of the day. But it does change your mindset and it [00:11:00] does change the way that your brain is thinking and truly the frequency of your mood and what you're speaking. I just wanna encourage you to do that. Now some people do it in such a more beautiful and fancy way and they have a journal that they, journal a certain amount in every single day or things like that.

Beautiful. If that's you, go for it. But if you're just messy like me and imperfect, and you just wanna be thankful for your fingernails while you wash your dishes, that works too. So don't make it a big thing in your head and you can if your kids are talking to you, just say what you're thankful for.

To them be like, Hey I'm saying what I'm thankful for right now. Hold on. Don't ask me for that. And let's do it together. Or. I'm thankful that they're climbing in the fridge to get mustard. Even like, I'm thankful we have mustard in the fridge. I'm thankful they can climb. You can say those things.

I don't know if it's, if your kids are climbing in the fridge all the time, but mine are, and I'm thankful we have a refrigerator and I'm thankful that they can hear me when I'm talking. I'm thankful that they can learn to listen. just anything and everything [00:12:00] can be something to be thankful for.

Even as you're parenting, even as you're working, whatever that looks like for you in the day. I think I've hopefully given you plenty of examples where you're like, okay, I could do this. that is number two. Number three, this one's a little bit harder. Ditch the victim mindset. I would have told you a few months ago that I did not have a victim mindset.

I would've told you that because I'm good at taking responsibility for myself and I am not blaming other people for everything. And I would've told you that, but the victim mindset runs so deep. It really does. And I will give you an example. It's actually the way our brain is wired, which is why it's so easy to be in a victim mindset and keep, just keep an open mind for this.

If you're like, I'm not in a victim mindset, , you really may not be, but stick with me until I've explained it and then decide. So a lot of times, we think that we're not in a victim mindset and we don't wake up thinking I'm gonna be a victim today. However. It is our [00:13:00] nervous system's attempt to make sense of pain and powerlessness.

And when we are in a situation that we don't like, it's so much easier to think that it's because of someone else or something outside of ourselves versus than something we did. Sometimes that's true, but that still doesn't mean that we are a victim to those circumstances, so our brain is wired to keep us alive.

From a biological standpoint, the victim mindset really is a defense strategy, it helps us believe whatever's happening is not our fault. Someone else can fix it, and if I avoid responsibility, I can avoid pain. This can look like, honestly, not even taking responsibility for your own happiness and believing that someone else is in charge of that.

I would be happy if my kids would listen. I would be happy if my job was better. I would be happy if my husband was better, did the things that I liked, [00:14:00] didn't, do the things I don't like. It's so easy to see that, but that is a victim mindset in and of itself. If you've ever thought, if someone else did this, then I could be happy or be successful, or whatever that looks like.

Think about that. If you are in a victim mindset about anything, it's going to make your PMS worse. But in the context of PMS, even you're on that day or that three days where you're like, if my kids would just listen, I would stop screaming at them. If my husband didn't wear shoes in the house, I could be happy.

Like literally, I told my husband that one time recently. He kinda looked at me and I was like, listen, I'm having a hard time right now and I'm being told that it's because you're wearing shoes in the house, but I think it's probably that I'm hungry and I need a nap. I was like, I'm being told in my brain everything.

That is wrong in the world is because you're wearing those shoes in the house and I don't like you to wear shoes in the house. And I think in those [00:15:00] moments, he kinda laughed and I laughed, but I was like, but really I need a nap or bad things are gonna happen. But in those moments, that is taking responsibility for it.

It's not I'm just gonna be upset because he's doing the thing that I don't like, that he knows that I don't like. And so I deserve to be mad. That is victim mindset. When that comes up, we can take that responsibility and say, even if it is be you're a victim of your PMS, saying like, okay, yes, it's day 27 and.

I am not a victim to this, so because I'm not a victim, I'm going to take a minute to do something that I like and see if I can feel better because I'm not a victim. I'm going to explain to my kids, Hey kids, I'm having a hard time right now. It's not about you. It's about me, and I'm going to do my best to still treat you kindly.

You're not gonna do it perfect. Nobody's going to do it perfect. But having that. Idea in your head that you can still take responsibility even in those hard moments is really [00:16:00] empowering. And so I just wanna encourage you with that. The very last one is I am Statements. This is from a coach that I have coached with before.

Her name is Tessa Romero. She has the Mom Set Podcast. Highly recommend. She has amazing mindset shifts and is. Just a joyful example of really owning your motherhood. So all credit goes to her for these I am statements, but she teaches that spending time telling your brain who you are is incredibly important.

Especially before PMS week, but all the time really taking time to sit down and think about like, who are you? And, more than that, who do you want to be or who are you called to be? And writing down about three statements that are really clear of who you are and who you want to be that you can go back to in the moment.

So you write them down every day, ideally, but you can also just go back to them in the moment. For an example, one that I have used is I am joyfully [00:17:00] present. when I'm irritated. And I just wanna tell myself like if the kids would just stop making a mess, then I would be a happy mom and I would be nice to them and I would be joyfully present or I could play with them, or I could what?

Whatever that desire is that I actually have, but I'm using everything else as an excuse. I can say I am joyfully present in my head to myself and say, okay, if that is true, if that is true, then how would I act? And then go from there, act on it. I am thriving is another one that I'm using right now.

I'm thriving. If I was thriving, how would I act and then do it? If I want to be thriving, it is not going to help me to keep sitting around in my emotions and my grumpiness about the shoes or the toys or the whatever is annoying me. It is absolutely not going to help me thrive. I am not going to be thriving.

There's no chance that I will thrive when I'm irritated about all the things, and this is PMS or no PMS. [00:18:00] But if I want to be thriving, and I tell myself I am thriving. I'm using the power of our speech, the power of our tongues. James talks about this extensively. We can change our lives with the power of our tongues.

By keeping our tongue from evil for one thing and by speaking life. And so if I am speaking life over myself, this, go listen to Tess's podcast because you will love it and there will be a deep dive there for you because she talks about doing it with your kids and so many other things. But in this moment, talking about ourselves, if I am thriving, how would I act?

If I was thriving, I would have fun. If I was thriving, I would do what I said I was gonna do. If I was thriving, I would be speaking. Life and truth over my kids and using the fruit of the spirit. Okay. So those things are clear. When I say I'm thriving, how would I act? I think those I am statements can be incredibly helpful.

Even in the moment where , what you really wanna say is, I am grumpy. And also the opposite of this is you're using I am statements. Start watching for that. You're saying [00:19:00] I'm tired, I'm irritated, I am hormonal. I am. Sick of this. We can speak death over ourselves so easily when we're saying, I, somebody said to me the other day, these allergies are killing me.

We are speaking death literally over ourselves. And you may think that's silly, but I don't think it's silly. I think it's, I think it's concerning. And I've said before and caught myself even recently this is making me sick. Like it makes me sick to see this happen in the world.

And it's like, I'm not gonna speak that over myself. Even if I literally do feel sick, I'm not gonna speak that over myself. I don't wanna be sick. So what are you speaking over yourself that you don't want? And what are you speaking constantly over yourself that you don't want? Because you are telling your brain, you're giving your brain commands, and it's believing those commands and it is following those commands.

 if you're saying things that are negative over yourself all the time, cleaning that up can change your PMS and your mood as well. So I just wanna encourage you that. You have a lot of power and you have a lot of responsibility over your own mood and over your own [00:20:00] health, that doesn't mean it's always easy to stick with, but starting to make a change can be easy.

 Just pick one of these things and start with it and see how it feels and practice this when you're not in your PMS week, by the way, you can totally, this will change , your mood all the time. So practice this when you're not in PM. S. And then you'll be better at it when it feels harder when you are.

 Okay. That's all I got for you ladies. I'll see you next week.