HAPPILY HORMONAL | hormone balance for moms, PMS, painful periods, natural birth control, low energy, pro-metabolic
Worried your painful periods, low energy, and PMS mood swings will be with you until menopause? Do you want to have more energy, good periods, and a stable mood without taking birth control, a million supplements, or going on an unrealistic restrictive diet? Do you want to know where to start to balance your hormones naturally? You're in the right place.
Happily Hormonal will help you unlock the secrets to:
Balancing hormones in motherhood with simple nourishment strategies
Using food to have better periods and less PMS, even with a busy schedule
Balancing blood sugar for more energy and less anxiety
Getting rid of painful periods for good
Losing the drama of PMS week
Feeling more present and joyful
Increasing your capacity in motherhood and life
Understanding your body and cycles on a deeper level
Having regular, pain-free periods and ovulation
Making more progesterone
Taking back control of your health and your hormones so you can show up as the woman you really want to be
Host Leisha Drews, RN, BSN, FDN-P and Holistic Hormone Coach, brings you realistic, actionable conversations so you can start to peel back the layers of hormone balance in a way that feels simple and doable for the first time ever, so you can have balanced hormones even as a busy mom.
CONTACT LEISHA:
Email: hello@leishadrews.com
Podcast guest inquiries: happilyhormonalpodcast@gmail.com
Website: www.leishadrews.com
IG: @leishadrews
HAPPILY HORMONAL | hormone balance for moms, PMS, painful periods, natural birth control, low energy, pro-metabolic
E263: Creating Safety in Marriage through Radical Responsibility With Haley Teixeira
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Do you notice that once a month your brain is VERY good at convincing you that your husband is the worst? Your nervous system is constantly scanning for safety, and if things feel tense with your spouse, your body stays stuck in a stress response that no amount of supplements can fix.
Today, I’m talking with marriage coach Haley Teixeira about why emotional safety is the actual foundation for hormonal health. We’re diving into how our childhood wounds and patterns create a "protective" internal environment in our relationships that physically deregulates our minerals, leaving us feeling exhausted.
You'll hear:
- How a lack of safety creates a mineral barrier that blocks rest and tanks your energy
- Why being your parents' "emotional confidant" as a kid is still driving your stress today
- Why stepping out of protection mode is the best pro-metabolic shift for your marriage
This episode uncovers your body’s habit of building a literal calcium wall when your home feels like a pressure cooker. Pop it on while you make dinner tonight, because honestly, it’s a lot easier to fix your minerals than it is to find a new husband who doesn't "breathe so loudly".
Nourish Tracker - Discount code: HAPPILYHORMONAL
Download the new 20-min private podcast training - Simply Nourished Cycles
Book a FREE Hormone Strategy Call with me
CONNECT WITH HALEY:
Website
NEED HELP FIXING YOUR HORMONES? CHECK OUT MY RESOURCES:
Hormone Imbalance Quiz - Find out which of the top 3 hormone imbalances affects you most!
Join Nourish Your Hormones Coaching for the step-by-step and my eyes on YOUR hormones for the next 4 months.
Simply Nourished Cycles Podcast Training
Don’t forget to subscribe, share this episode, and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more women looking for answers.
Disclaimer: Nothing in this podcast is to be taken as medical advice, please take informed accountability and speak to your provider before making changes to your health routine.
This podcast is for women and moms to learn how to balance hormones naturally in motherhood, to have pain-free periods, increased fertility, to decrease PMS mood swings, and to increase energy without restrictive diet plans. You'll learn how to balance blood sugar, increase progesterone naturally, understand the root cause of estrogen dominance, irregular periods, PCOS, insulin resistance, hormonal acne, post birth-control syndrome, and conceive naturally. We use a pro-metabolic, whole food, root cause approach to functional women's health and focus on truly holistic health and mind-body connection.
If you listen to any of the following shows, we're sure you'll like ours too!
Pursuit of Wellness with Mari Llewellyn, Culture Apothecary with Alex Clark, Found My Fitness with Rhonda Patrick, Just Ingredients Podcast, Wellness Mama, The Dr Josh Axe Show, Are You Menstrual Podcast, The Model Health Show, Grounded Wellness By Primally Pure, Be Well By Kelly Leveque, The Freely Rooted Podcast with Kori Meloy, Simple Farmhouse Life with Lisa Bass
All right, welcome back, ladies.
Today we are talking marriage and safety in marriage.
And so I brought in a special guest and friend, Haley Teixeira, and she is a kingdom marriage coach.
And so I am going to just turn it over to you, Haley, and I want to hear from you
And so I just want to hear your heart behind that.
So this is a really good conversation to tune into and stick with us till the end.
Thank you so much for having me, Leisha.
It's going to be powerful conversation, even reminders for us.
But yeah, so just to start off, I think, man, my passion with this.
But really, after, you know, lots of reflection, looking back, I see how
The passion here started way before that.
Yeah, they just celebrated their 30 years, which is incredible.
But it wasn't, it wasn't picture perfect, right?
Like they had many issues and,
just lots of things, lots of things that affected me, especially as the oldest daughter.
And so I often got, kind of became the confidant for my mom and just a lot of pressure there.
Like, why does it have to be this hard and whatnot?
And so I think that really gave me a passion to, okay, when I get married,
I want to be unified with my husband.
Like, I don't want to be confiding in my kids.
I want to be able to talk to my husband.
I just want to have that because I knew that that's how it was supposed to be.
You know, I think that's how God created it.
And that was kind of intuitive.
So yeah, I think that's where my passion started.
that I just went down this long, really journey of like, what is my calling?
Like seeking with the Lord, you know?
I went to school for marketing and then got my master's.
But I'm like, wait, where does motherhood fit in?
And then I started leading into entrepreneurship and
through all that and that journey with the Lord, what am I passionate about?
Okay, if I want to be an entrepreneur, then what specifically am I called to?
And it always came back to relationships.
We were at this revival event and
And I'm so glad it happened this way.
God knew and needed to because my passion for marriage and relationship was stirring.
But my husband was a lot slower because he had been an entrepreneur beforehand.
And, I don't think every man grows up thinking, I'm going to be a marriage coach.
Like, that's not what they think.
We're more drawn to it as women, right?
And so anyway, through a complete stranger at this event, he was praying for my husband.
He was like, I see marriage and family.
And instantly I'm there like listening and my husband's weeping, I'm weeping.
And I'm just like, wow, how much clearer could it be?
And it was actually, actually it could be clear.
So that same weekend, we had another family friend in Brazil, which is where my husband is from.
And she's just very in tune with the Holy Spirit and prophetic is one of her gifting as well.
And we're like, oh my goodness, this is like, again, how much clearer could this be?
And so I think at that point, my husband finally received us like, this is a mission.
And so at that point, it's like,
I haven't viewed this as just like my passion.
I've really viewed this as like a ministry and a calling.
And the Lord puts people in places for specific things within the church and to support the body.
And it's just been made obvious that this is it.
I know we were just speaking beforehand of like, this is the Lord's business.
And I've seen it as that because it's been so obvious that he called me.
It's not that I thought of this thing and, I want to do this.
It's the root, the meat and potatoes of it is like, I want you to do this.
And so anyway, that's kind of how it started.
I think that the clarity for you is...
so helpful to be able to just say like, okay, this is, this is where we're going.
And having kids, and I think that that's at least something that most of us used to dream of.
And there can be a lot of discontentment with that.
It's like almost the same numbers, isn't it?
But there's, I think, a lot more shame around it.
And I think there's shame around divorce in general.
But it's almost like, okay, the only path to reconciliation is marriage counseling.
If that doesn't work, then we get divorced.
And so I would love for you to just
And we do talk to a lot of our couples about this.
And so the conflict in marriage happens when our differences clash.
And so a lot of the couples we work with, that's a big part of where we start is, okay,
Understanding conflict, because again, we all have different upbringings of what conflict look like.
some, upbringings, like I never saw my parents in conflict.
And then others are like, I'm talking so loud.
It's like raised voice, right?
And the other spouse is like, whoa, like, I don't feel safe literally right now.
Figuring out what conflict is.
Conflict is simply just clashing of the differences.
The safety is required to actually create that intimacy.
And so it's really hard to create the intimacy without that safety.
Okay, well, Haley, how do we create the safety?
Well, you understand that conflict is normal, but the key here is having trust during conflict.
Trust, because that's where the safety comes in, even if you're having a conflict.
We have to think very differently.
We have different opinions than our spouses, right?
And most of the time it's not someone's right, someone's wrong.
It's just we don't understand each other.
Where do we begin in understanding each other?
Well, we got to be able to communicate.
Well, how can we communicate if we're both tense and we're both stuck in our stress responses?
Okay, that is where we circle back to the healing.
And that is where we start with all of our couples.
And then really it's just a mirror.
Our marriage is just a mirror re-emphasizing the things that haven't yet been healed, right?
It's like the, it's not our spouse poking the button.
And so boom, becomes a conflict and then no one feels safe.
And so the key with really creating that intimacy is, yeah, it's getting that safety.
And that really does start with healing with the Lord.
Because if we look at our spouse to heal us, man, they got their own stuff, right?
And so we really try to empower couples to
How can you feel safe with another person if you can't feel safe with your creator?
Another physical person who's very different.
If you don't have the experience of a father who is safe
and you're looking at God as a father and trying to reconcile that, that can be really hard.
has always been something that does feel safe to me.
So I think that there's so many layers to that.
And I can, I see this as, you know, that's not safety with God.
Like that's not surrender to God.
And so I love your point that that is where we start.
have this belief system that we are the ones who have to hold it all.
If we don't do it, won't get done.
I think, especially as like an oldest child, I'm also an oldest child.
There is responsibility that comes with that.
But there is almost like a trauma response or like a stress response that puts us in that place.
We have our walls up, whether we think we do against our husband or not.
And that creates a lot of distrust between both of you.
I have seen where it's like he wants you to trust and respect him.
It just turns those belief systems back on.
I can't trust him to do the kid's diaper right, or whatever it is.
And then we just keep building those walls.
He doesn't feel like you want him to lead.
He doesn't feel like you trust him to lead.
even if you think you do, and then that, then he's shutting down as well.
So I think that that's a huge, a huge issue for safety.
Yeah, it's like how you're carrying yourself.
whether you're like, I want to trust you, but I don't.
Awareness is always the first step to change.
Like, for us, and I actually didn't mention it.
The more you seek the Lord, the more the healing comes.
It's just, if you keep going down, he's going to take you into healing because he wants us whole.
But we have to say yes to the journey, you know?
And again, trust that it's going to be better on the other side.
When we were engaged, that's when
our triggers started coming up and it was exactly kind of how you described.
I mean, Nick was raised with a single mom, only child, two.
I had my parents and then I'm the oldest of two younger brothers.
So very, very different upbringings.
And so he had the first, you know, I think,
Everyone's like, Oh, I don't have trauma.
If it really hit you hard as a child, it's worth taking and laying at the Lord's feet.
Even if it feels minuscule or it feels trivial, it still matters, and the Lord cares about that.
So it doesn't have to be this big thing to be considered trauma.
But for us, it was the first things that came up was his mother wounds.
And naturally, in a relationship now, I have a strong personality, just like his mom.
Growing up with my father, he was always present.
He was always physically there, and I felt safe in that regard.
But emotionally, that's again.
that could be traumatic because we need that emotional nurturing as a child.
Anyway, so that, you know, when...
the husband or my fiance at the time didn't know how to talk about emotional stuff.
It flashed me back to, wow, I've been here before.
Like not feeling validated, not feeling like I'm making sense, right?
So anyway, I would get triggered.
Then when I'm triggered, I would get defensive.
Then I would trigger him, right?
Being louder, trigger his mother wound, and then just round and round the cycle would go.
And so that was really the first
I mean, like I said, engagement and he thought conflict was like, man, I guess this is it.
And I was like, what are you talking about?
Again, he had the father when his dad was in his life growing up.
He saw his parents not together.
So he's like thinking this is it.
I'm like, no, we're going, we're going to make this work.
You know, God brought us together for a reason.
So anyway, like those different, again, backgrounds.
But that's really where it started for us too, personally experiencing this of, wow.
But then starting all that came up, I'm like, okay, well, I know it can be different.
And that faith really is what got us through at the beginning.
And I really poured that faith into him at the time.
He's like, I didn't think, I don't know.
We're doomed, do you know what I mean?
And I'm like, no, let's just lean in.
Like, God, there's stuff here for us to dig up and to heal from.
And so anyway, healing from that, it made it where he went from being more in the feminine.
And I was wearing my masculine.
And, you know, from his mom, like criticizing him constantly growing up.
I feel like I'm actually capable of being the leader and just life's spoken into him, you know?
What are you coming into marriage with?
Like, we all have to take an assessment.
It's only our job to look at our stuff, right?
That's between us and God, right?
And then also, what does God want for me?
Like, as a believer, especially, like, okay, I believe God created marriage.
It's supposed to be harmonious.
Okay, it's not harmonious right now.
Well, let me see where I can shift.
What direction do I need to shift?
And so for me, like you shared, resting more in the feminine, it's been a journey.
But I will say that doing it with your spouse is the best way.
You can't control your spouse, so they have to choose.
For us, it's been such a blessing and just seeing the growth happen so much quicker.
When the wife focuses on what she can do, okay, I need to be softer.
Okay, I didn't feel safe with my dad or I didn't feel like I can trust my dad.
Having those truths, like renewing your mind with that truth, right?
and holding onto it and expecting the journey to be messy, but focusing on what you can do.
And speaking that truth into them, it helps.
So then we're both working on what we can do and it just flows so much better.
I'm like, do you, on this conversation, I'm like, do you trust the Lord?
Do you trust that the Lord brought you to this man?
There was a couple that was engaged and she was like questioning kind of what we were talking about.
You know how you're feeling, of course.
I was like, but do you trust that the Lord brought you to this guy?
Like, do you think that the Lord is calling you guys to get married?
And she was like, yes, I do, blah, blah.
He will continue strengthening him and he will continue helping you rest.
Like he will, God will continue working it out.
Even when we become believers, it's a journey, you know?
We should be getting closer to that in our journey.
But it really does stem down to trusting God.
I also like what you said about what part of God do I need to work on my relationship with?
Because you're right, sometimes it is the father for many of us.
But others, it's like, no, I had a great father.
Like you said, that wasn't the
biggest thing for me, but Holy Spirit, right?
Which is more of that feminine side of God, because God has masculine and feminine.
So it's like, am I comfortable with that?
And I would be like, can we move on to where we can read something?
And now, three, four, five years later, I'm like,
of course, motherhood and all of that in the equation now.
I love just sitting and resting in the presence of God and Holy Spirit.
You know, that's not where it started for me either.
Like I don't feel safe being fully seen by God, even though he sees everything.
That's an opportunity for healing as well.
You know, I think just in the,
But I kind of like thinking about our whole conversation here.
And what we are saying is that there is healing with the Lord.
and he doesn't say to stay somewhere that's not safe.
It's not all on you, but we are speaking to the women here primarily.
Most of the people listening to this will be women on this podcast.
to put all the blame on someone else and be in that victim mindset more than we think we are.
I have seen the most change in my relationship when I'm willing to take my own stuff and work on it.
And I am very imperfect in this.
There are lots of times that I don't do it.
And I'll be like, well, I'm being told that you're the worst, actually.
Just gonna be honest, this is my thought.
Like, I'm getting some intel right now that the way you did the dishwasher is the dumbest.
I don't say it in a mean way, but just I'll try to make a joke about it.
And my husband takes that really well.
it really helps me to be like, okay, this is actually what's happening.
Lies are coming in my head that are not exactly rational, that are not really true.
And I'm talking about, you know, the dumb things for the most part.
Sometimes it's helpful to just speak it out and be like, this is what's happening in my head.
And I can see that it's not fully true.
But then there's much deeper communication that probably needs to happen.
But just in that moment, sometimes the honesty of like,
This is what's going on in my head.
When I say it out loud, we can both kind of see that it's not like a really big deal.
And we can talk through it or not if it's not even needed, but we're on the same page.
Even just that has been a helpful step in.
In the past, I've thought, if it's not a big deal, it's better for me to not say it.
And it's like, okay, that's very unhelpful.
They just stuff, stuff, stuff.
And so you can't stuff anymore.
It's like a tiny little boop and it blows up.
And so that's why like just finding a healthy outlet, which girlfriends are amazing for that.
And as you're talking, I'm thinking like prayer, you're exactly right.
this morning, like anxiety is like you're viewing all these things, but without me in the picture.
And that's why there's anxiety there.
And again, this rooted on trusting God and feeling safe in his presence, obviously.
And you get to rewrite who he really is and all, you know, and his three, three different forms.
But yeah, praying without ceasing, because when I shift from those thoughts to, oh,
And I think us women need that.
I mean, we especially need it in the luteal and the menstrual where we're more inward.
We need to, we need to go inward and we need to tend to ourselves.
They're not going through the same hormonal stuff we are.
So it becomes bigger just to us.
When we don't, again, take ownership, like you said, of this is where I'm at in my cycle.
I need some extra space to process.
Like whatever you need, you know?
It becomes like, oh, it's on him.
When in reality, no, it's just another opportunity for us to practice giving us what we need.
And a lot of times in prayer, it's like, okay, okay, Lord, you're right.
The Lord helps keep us in check, right?
But when it's just us, we can build it so much sower.
Like you said, he's the bad guy.
Yeah, I mean, another thing is having your husband, I started doing this a couple months.
Again, not his full responsibility.
My actions, my attitude, it's still all on me.
The Lord's grace, I need to give myself what I need so I can be more grounded and whatnot.
So he's in the know and he's not like, what on earth?
He's like, okay, and he can have extra grace those two weeks.
We've shared it with a friend and they're like, really?
We're like, come on now with extra grace.
We need to be on the same page, right?
And that sounds bigger than it is.
Also, he's never experienced it.
That can be something that, you know, sometimes it comes out of the blue and doesn't expect it.
Then day 24, 23, that's where you start to create that bubble.
And even if your husband is unable to help, too busy, unwilling, whatever it is,
You can still create that for yourself.
Hey, the lunch dishes don't get done for three or four days and you do them at dinner.
You can take things off your own plate, even if you feel like you don't have help.
even if it's your mom, even if it's not your husband.
If that's your reality, great.
Enjoy that and give yourself that space.
There's so much self-care that you can do with your kids.
But a little shift of how could I make this 10% better?
That's a shift that you can do, right?
And so I think just same thing with your marriage.
I can have dinner ready a little earlier, or I can
And so I think that even that can help without resentment.
That can be something that can be remedied.
I'm not saying it's all on you, do it all yourself.
I'm just saying if it feels like it is right now,
question that belief, but also how can that empower you until it does change?
Taking your power back as a wife.
I think a lot of times, because we are like in the biblical order, we're under our husbands.
That can be, you know, depending on what you've learned about that, right?
That can feel very like, I'm stuck, but it's not the case at all.
Everything you just shared, that should be encouraging.
Like, oh, wow, I can make this shift.
It's a complete mentality shift is what it is.
God gives me everything I need to be victorious.
I'm not kept taking all those thoughts you were speaking about.
And then, yeah, I think when it comes to the needs, I think a lot of times
And so if that's, if that's where you're coming from, recognize that and, and practice
Identifying what you need first and foremost, which is what we've been speaking about.
We cannot communicate anything to our husbands if we're not even aware of it.
So it's like, why are we expecting a man out of all people who are very different than me to get it?
So yeah, understanding what we need.
But again, this is where obviously it circles back to that healing.
But it really is not built on the truth.
It's built on that, you know, lens that triggered the lie, which is the root of that.
Lies are always the root of all wounds.
A lie has been buried in your heart, and that's what the healing is.
Let's shine light on it and get the truth in there instead.
He's like, I never feel like a burden when I ask and whatnot.
And you just, you're not giving your husband a chance.
Like you said earlier, like they're not going to compete.
We got to stop trying to provide.
We got to stop trying to lead.
And so when we shift our dynamic, it really does change the whole dynamic in the marriage.
I think, you know, that will help us.
Hey, I would love to talk to you.
Or I would love some alone time, like you were saying.
Or, hey, can you do bedtime routine tonight?
Sometimes that's how we can use help, you know?
Figuring that out for you and then giving him an opportunity to step up.
That's how we invite them to lead.
It's giving them an opportunity to step up, not telling them like their mom.
That's not going to encourage them.
That's probably going to backfire.
And there is a dynamic there that things can change without you even needing to ask for them change.
You have to be consistent and you have to do it and be committed, right?
So it's not just like you can decide one day that you're going to be.
And then everyone else is going to fall into place.
Like, no, you've got to make that decision every day.
And it's a hard decision to make, but it's very rewarding.
So yeah, give yourself grace for sure.
Yeah, we'll wrap this up here, but I appreciate this so much, Haley.
I hope it's been encouraging for those of you listening.
I know she has some really great ones and we'll see you girls next time.