Stop Trying to Fix Your Hormones & Start Doing This Instead | E293

Why does it feel like the harder you try to fix your hormones, the more stuck you get?

You've probably lived this cycle more than once. A new season starts, you feel motivated, and you throw yourself into it. New supplements, a stricter food plan, a new provider, maybe you finally book that lab test you've been putting off. And for a minute it feels productive, like you're finally taking your health seriously.

But a few weeks in, nothing's really changed, or worse, you feel even more exhausted than when you started. That's usually the point where you start questioning your body altogether, and you just want someone else to fix it for you. You want an answer, a protocol, a pill, anything that means you don't have to keep guessing. My friend, that reaction makes so much sense, and it's also exactly the pattern I want to unpack with you today.

In this episode, I'm walking you through why that approach keeps failing you, and what's actually underneath every single hormone symptom you've ever had.

Here's what we get into:

• Why your hormones aren't actually the problem (and what they're really trying to tell you)
• The one question your brain asks before it decides whether to make progesterone at all
• Why doing more of the "right things" can backfire when you're already at capacity
• What a five-minute couch test can reveal about what's really going on in your body
• The mindset shift that changes whether your nervous system can actually regulate
• The one thing I'm asking you to focus on this month instead of adding another supplement

If you've ever sat across from a provider who told you "your progesterone is just low" and handed you a cream without asking why, this episode is going to connect some dots for you.

Okay, so when you're deep in the crunchy mom, do-all-the-things phase, you're probably staring at a list of symptoms and calling each one its own problem.

Estrogen dominance, low progesterone, PMS, painful periods, the acne, the bloat - all of it feels like a separate thing to fix. But those are the smoke, not the fire. Your brain is constantly deciding how safe it is to make hormones, and it's making that call based on stress signals your body has been sending for way longer than you probably realize. 

That's why the supplement never worked the way you hoped. That's why your labs kept coming back "normal" even when you knew something was off. You were treating the smoke and never asking why there was a fire in the first place.

For so many of us, especially the ones who love a checklist and a fresh start, the instinct when something feels off is to add more. More supplements. More rules. More things to fix. But if you're already at capacity, more just becomes another weight, and your body reads that as one more reason it's not safe to make hormones the way you want it to. It's like trying to calm someone down by handing them a longer to-do list.

I share a little test in this episode that you can do right now, no labs required. Can you sit on your couch, alone, for five minutes, without scrolling or talking or reaching for something to distract you? If that sounds impossible, that's information. That's your body telling you exactly where the gap is.

I also get into something I've never said quite this directly before, which is how much our mindset plays into this. I'm not talking toxic positivity, not "just think happier thoughts and your hormones will heal." I've walked through genuinely hard seasons where my nervous system stayed on high alert no matter what I did. But even then, asking myself what I'm choosing to believe, what I'm letting myself consume, whether I'm holding onto bitterness about things I can't control, that has mattered more than I used to give it credit for.

So this episode isn't handing you a new supplement stack or another thing to squeeze into your morning routine. It's walking you through the questions worth asking yourself this week. What is not safe in my body or my life right now? What is the one thing, maybe two if you're an overachiever like me, that would move the needle most? And then, can you actually commit to that one thing instead of scattering your energy across fifteen?

If you're nodding along right now because you already know you're running on fumes and checking boxes that aren't actually helping, this one's for you.

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Disclaimer: Nothing in this podcast is to be taken as medical advice, please take informed accountability and speak to your provider before making changes to your health routine.

This podcast is for women and moms to learn how to balance hormones naturally in motherhood, to have pain-free periods, increased fertility, to decrease PMS mood swings, and to increase energy without restrictive diet plans. You'll learn how to balance blood sugar, increase progesterone naturally, understand the root cause of estrogen dominance, irregular periods, PCOS, insulin resistance, hormonal acne, post birth-control syndrome, and conceive naturally. We use a pro-metabolic, whole food, root cause approach to functional women's health and focus on truly holistic health and mind-body connection.

If you listen to any of the following shows, we're sure you'll like ours too! 
Pursuit of Wellness with Mari Llewellyn, Culture Apothecary with Alex Clark, Found My Fitness with Rhonda Patrick, Just Ingredients Podcast, Wellness Mama, The Dr Josh Axe Show, Are You Menstrual Podcast, The Model Health Show, Grounded Wellness By Primally Pure, Be Well By Kelly Leveque, The Freely Rooted Podcast with Kori Meloy, Simple Farmhouse Life with Lisa Bass

Transcript

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E293_ Stop Trying to Fix Your Hormones & Start Doing This Instead

[00:00:00] If you are currently or you have tried before really hard to fix your hormones and you feel like you're doing the right things, you're taking the right supplements, you're checking all the boxes, and your hormones are just not responding the way you would expect them to, then this episode is going to help you clear up some of the true root cause underlying things that mess with your hormones even when you don't know what's happening and what you can do that's easier than what you're doing now before I get into this episode, it's really kind of inspired by some conversations I've had recently and just this kind of general perspective that I have from talking to so many women about hormone health.

And what I see most often is just this kind of like paralysis at a point where you have tried some things, maybe a lot of things, maybe a few things, and you get to the point where you feel [00:01:00] frustrated, you're not really trusting your body, you don't really even know how to trust your body, how to trust your gut with what you're doing, and you get to the point where you just want someone to fix it for you.

You just want someone else to take care of it, someone else to have the answer. I have been here a thousand times with my health, my kids' health , everything in my life. Ask my besties, and they will tell you my most often question is, "How do I fix this?" , "Someone else tell me how to fix this." And with that being said, this is a habit that I have really been feeling convicted to change because when we have this, paralysis experience of doing something and it doesn't really work and we're not really sure why and then we just feel frozen and we're like, "I don't know what to do next," and it either becomes someone else needs to fix this for me or I need to give up, maybe both, right?

Switching off, right? Between those responses. But what I see [00:02:00] is that every part of this formula, the bad hormone problems, the PMS mood swings, the painful periods, the dysregulated nervous system, the wanting to outsource and not trusting yourself all comes from... and just the wanting to quit. It all comes from the same root cause, and that is nervous system dysregulation, overwhelm, and a lack of safety in your body.

And so really stick with me on this because I'm going to help you understand how what you're doing now is not contributing to safety the way you may think it is, and truly why that is extremely key, completely key to have the happier hormones that you want to have, whether that's getting rid of PMS or PMDD or painful periods or,, stubborn weight gain or hormonal acne or just bad periods in general, breast tenderness, [00:03:00] just everything that we think of when it comes to hormone symptoms as a woman, it comes back to safety because we were created to be safe for our fertility to work.

And so really stick with me on this and I'm gonna walk you through why that is so important in this episode and truly help you see what you can shift. This is an actionable episode, so stick with me, stay till the end and you will walk away with something that you can shift that is easy today. Now, I also really, really want to invite you.

I'm doing a safety school for moms challenge starting today Monday, September 7th. Had to really think about this when this episode's coming out. Monday, September 7th, we're starting this challenge, and it is made for the mom who already has her hands full. It is made to take some things off of your plate to have a more regulated nervous system, safety in your body, you're gonna hear me say that a few times, and happier hormones by the end of the month of [00:04:00] September.

I truly believe you're gonna see that if you follow along. We're doing one short podcast episode a week and one set of action steps, just, like, an action step for you for the week, and I'm hosting that on my Substack. All you have to do is go to the link in the show notes and subscribe to my Substack for free.

Literally everything's free. No gimmicks, no sign you up for anything else. , Just I want to help you with this because I am talking to all my friends and all my clients and to myself, and there's just so much going on in our minds and our bodies in this season of fall, and I just wanna help you take some things off your plate so that you can stay regulated, be regulated now, stay regulated through the busy fall season and the holidays.

We can walk into the next year, which, don't even get me started, I'm not ready for next year. , It's still summer, right? , It feels like it, but we can walk into next year not needing a reset. This whole perspective that I think so many of us [00:05:00] first-born, type A, overachiever, love to check the boxes, perfectionist, recovering girlies, maybe throw an Enneagram three or one or eight in there.

I'm not even one of those. I'm an Enneagram seven, but , I can relate. , All of these tendencies that we have to just focus on checking the boxes, to steamroll our way through life, to stay in masculine. Listen back to my episode last week if you didn't listen to that after this one. It really is not creating safety, even when we're checking the boxes of things that are good.

And so come join me for the challenge. It's going to be fun, and can find a little group of girlies to do it with. Invite your friends, please. , When you subscribe, go subscribe right now, and then just text it to a few of your friends. I really would love to do this with you. It's gonna be fun, community, and ...

 i'd love to meet some of you there. So that is a challenge, Safety School for Moms, and this [00:06:00] episode is essentially the kickoff of that because we're really gonna talk about why this idea of safety is so important, and not even from such a scientific perspective as sometimes I come from, but really just, like, let's make this hit home for your life so that you can figure out how to make this better for you.

So When I talk about fixing your hormones, healing your hormones, balancing hormones, what I usually see that look like for those of us who have been crunchy mamas for a long time is we come into a new season where we're like, "Okay, kids are back in school," or kids are out of school or, or back in school, or who knows what the season is.

But right now, kids are back in school and we're-- some of us are doing it with them, some of us are sending our kids to school, it feels like a fresh start. And so we just immediately drown ourselves with a checklist, right? It's like, "Okay, now I'm going to do all the things. Now I'm gonna really get on board with these supplements," [00:07:00] or, "I'm gonna go see another provider and start something new.

I'm going to make sure my food is really right this time. We're gonna eat at home this soccer season," whatever it is. , But typically, this looks like you are already at sea level. You are at capacity. And to make yourself better, to make yourself happier and healthier and your glow up and all the things that we all want, we immediately drown ourselves with a to-do list and, , more things to do.

And that is directly against what we need to do to create more safety in our body. Obviously, with that perspective, but, , we do it every year, every season. I do. This year, instead of thinking of, , what can I do more and new and different, I am really sitting with what brings me actual joy, actual safety in my body, what is working already, and starting to focus on [00:08:00] that in a different way versus trying to do something new and better and more.

And so we'll dive into that shortly But what I wanna start with is I wanna start with some misconceptions about what actually balances your hormones. Many of us know when hormones are out of balance that estrogen dominance can be a really big common problem. Estrogen dominance is where you have more estrogen than progesterone in your luteal phase specifically.

You're supposed to have more in your follicular phase, but in your luteal phase specifically, you have more estrogen than progesterone. Whether you're making too much, you're not detoxing your estrogen well, or you're not making enough progesterone to balance the estrogen, those are things that we dive into and we look into with a Dutch test and with more complete assessment.

But that is a really common hormone imbalance that would lead to symptoms like I've already talked about, PMS, mood swings, heavy, cloudy periods, painful periods, irregular cycles, breast tenderness, moodiness, all of these things [00:09:00] that we don't want to have anymore. You also can have issues with how you're detoxing hormones.

You can just not be making enough of anything. You can be making too much of everything. There are plenty of different ways that you can have a hormone imbalance. But what I see most of the time, even from functional providers, is that you come in and you have these symptoms. At a typical, like, OB doctor, you will get birth control or you'll be told everything's fine, and you'll be sent along your way, maybe an antidepressant or anti-anxiety medicine if things are bad enough, and be sent on your way.

Maybe a few labs and then everything's good to go. With a functional professional, you often will get a little bit more in-depth than that, but it'll still be kind of that, , pill for an ill. It's like, "Okay, your hormones are off. The hormones are the problem." This is where we really need to , pay attention.

The hormones are not the problem. This is key to balancing your hormones. Your hormones are not the actual issue. Your hormones are the [00:10:00] side effect of the issue. Your hormones are the tip of the iceberg. You notice the symptoms, but there is a reason underneath the surface in your body that things do not feel safe for you to make hormones.

I've said this many times before, but for those of you who are new, welcome. I'm so glad you're here. And you need to understand that your brain tells your ovaries how to make hormones, and your brain tells your liver and your gut how to detox hormones. And if your brain is not getting signals of safety, it will deprioritize fertility hormones like estrogen and progesterone because it's just truly not necessary for you to be optimally fertile when there is a big stress trigger.

Because historically, of course, the example is always, like, running from the bear or running from the tiger or scarcity of food, right? Those stress hormones were made for seasons like that, and they were made to be on for a short time and then back off. But when we have stress hormones running consistently, we're getting these signals consistently that [00:11:00] things are not safe, , our bodies don't really know the difference between that being short-term and long-term.

And so they will deprioritize fertility hormones and thyroid hormones, which is not good for our hormone health, for our literally everything about being a woman long term. So knowing when you go to a provider that when they just say, "Hey, your progesterone's low. That's why you're having all these symptoms," that's not the answer.

The progesterone is low. If they tested it, it's low. I'm not saying it's not low. But when they just say, "Hey, your progesterone's just low. You need progesterone cream," or, "You need a progesterone pill," that is not the actual fix for your hormones being imbalanced. We need to ask: Why is your progesterone low?

Is it because you don't have enough fuel coming in? Is it because you have too much fuel going out? Is it because you're chronically overdoing, under-sleeping, under-nourishing? Is it that there's an infection underlying? There are so many ways that your body can be feeling [00:12:00] stress that you're just used to.

You don't even know. So you may feel high stress, or you may feel fine But if you are in this chronic state of stress, your body will steal from your progesterone production to make more cortisol to keep you alive and running away from danger. And so you have to understand that the hormone problem is not the problem.

And when you understand that, you will see how many holes there are in hormone treatment when you are just given replacement hormones like progesterone or you're just given, , something like DIM or calcium D-glucarate to get rid of more estrogen. But there is a reason that your body is fundamentally feeling unsafe and keeps making these hormones inappropriately.

Will those things potentially decrease symptoms temporarily while you're taking them? Yes, and we still need to know why, or maybe you already know why. This is what we're really getting into in this episode. Maybe you already know in your gut why your body [00:13:00] doesn't feel safe. And if we want to get really good at balancing hormones and really good at healing our own bodies in the cheapest and most effective way, we don't necessarily always need all the labs to tell us that there's not safety in your body You can sit on your couch by yourself for five minutes and find out if there's safety in your body.

If you can't sit quietly without scrolling, without talking to someone, without having something in front of your face, there's not safety in your body. If you can't stop and rest, if you can't fall asleep at night, if you can't take the time to take a deep breath and slow down and stop, , getting all of your worth from productivity, then there is not safety in your body.

 And if you are able to take the time to sit and be for a minute, you could probably write a whole list of reasons why. And if you were to do that, I would highly encourage you to do that from an empowered mindset that doesn't make you the [00:14:00] victim of everything. That doesn't say, "Well, it's because my husband, it's because my schedule, it's because of my kids, it's because my money."

Those things are probably all very legitimate, and how are you showing up in the midst of that? What are you choosing to believe about your situation? What are you choosing to do for yourself, , to create stability and to create safety in the midst of that life that you're living right now? , And I am not coming from a place that says your life is perfect, it's just your mindset.

I'm not saying that at all. I have walked through some really stressful things in the last couple years, and there are times that my nervous system was just on high alert, and it never stopped being on high alert. Even in the midst of that, I always did my best to try to shift that where I could, essentially.

Very imperfectly. But I want you to really take a moment, whether you pause this or come back to it a little bit later when you're not doing something, but, , [00:15:00] today take the time to ask yourself, , what is not safe in my body? What is not safe in my life? And, , what can I personally do to change that?

, What am I believing? What am I watching? , What am I consuming that is making me feel that way? I haven't seen this personally because I'm really not on social media and , this is not in my algorithm, but, , I saw a, podcast commentary on how all of these moms are talking about postpartum rage and posting all of these videos about, like, postpartum rage and how hard their children are and how terrible it is to be a mother.

And, , I know there are videos out there like that. But, , if you are struggling postpartum or as a young mom in general and that's what you're watching You're going to have a harder time. You truly are going to be believing what you allow yourself to believe or what you allow yourself to see and hear.

And if we're not protecting that and we are constantly, , consuming or being around people who tell you motherhood is only hard and, , [00:16:00] it doesn't pay off, the rewards aren't there, , you should be tired, you should be stressed, all you need is coffee and wine and then, , scrolling and TV to make it through, right?

Well, of course you're gonna believe that, and of course you're gonna feel that way, and of course nothing is gonna be safe in your body. And I doubt that most of you listening are feeling that way all the time, but I just wanna use that as an example that what you're listening to, what you're looking at really does make a difference in what you are believing about your circumstances.

And so asking yourself, where are things not safe and what do I need to do about it? I can always think of examples for myself when I ask myself this. It's like, okay, breakfast is fundamental. I talk about it all the time, and am I really doing it? , Is my breakfast solid? Is that something I need to work on in this season?

Has it started to slip? Am I getting my sunlight in the mornings? Am I getting connection, like quiet time with God? Am I getting connection, quiet time , with my husband, with my kids? Am I filling my cup? Because that is my responsibility. It's not my husband's, it's not my kids' [00:17:00] responsibility. , Am I doing things that bring me joy?

Because I know from practicing this slowly but surely that when I do something to bring myself joy, everybody else is happier. Everything goes smoother. , I'm not the victim because I've chosen not to be. These are little signals of safety that we can bring in throughout our day just by knowing where the stressors lie, essentially.

And so I really encourage you to just take a gut check and really ask yourself, , where am I living out of alignment? Where am I running around in circles that I don't have to be running around in? What could I say no to? What do I need to say yes to that is something that I need? Why do I not have time to ever eat lunch?

I know having little kids is really busy. , I know there are so many legitimate reasons, but if we only are looking for the reasons that we can't do what we need to do, we are going to continue to struggle. , If we're holding onto a lot of bitterness about, especially our family, [00:18:00] right? It's so easy to do.

If we're holding onto bitterness for other people not, like, quote-unquote, "Letting us do what we need to do," that is also going to be an issue for our happiness and our safety overall. And so asking yourself that. Are you in a victim mindset? Are you holding onto bitterness? Because if you are, your nervous system will not be regulated enough to create those signals of safety.

So this underlying safety is so much more important than if you're taking the right supplements, to be honest. And the things that we can do to shift that make a difference more than we think they would because sometimes it feels like, oh, they're too easy, or, they're not important enough to have really made a difference.

But they really are important enough to make a difference. So I want you to, number one, if you haven't already gone and subscribed, go to the Substack link. Join us for Safety School for Moms. We will be taking away [00:19:00] some stressors over the next month so that you can have more safety in your body and help you focus on what actually makes a difference.

And then ask yourself the basics. Am I getting what I need? Do I know what I need? The truth is, you probably do. . Am I getting what I need? If not, why not? And what can I do about it? And don't make yourself a whole list. Don't make yourself a 15 thing list. What is the one thing that would make the most difference for you this week?

What is the one or two things for my overachievers who can't just do one that would make the most difference for you this week? And then do it and stick with it, and get rid of things that are in the way My example is it fills my cup so much to get out in the sunshine, and I could tell you all the reasons that I can't do it.

But I can also find ways to do it. There may be a day that it's not as easy as other times, and maybe I don't do it every single day, but I can prioritize that over something else and make it happen, and [00:20:00] then do the next thing that's important. , And same thing with getting exercise or taking a walk or eating breakfast.

Find the things that you know will help you fill your cup the most, and then be committed to them for yourself like you would for someone that you love. Because that really, that shift in perspective really can make all the difference. you're still listening and you're like, " I'm not really sure how to do this," Safety School for Moms will help you get there, and I'm excited to do it with you.

See you next time.